You can't possibly understand how thrilled I am that on Friday June 11, 1999, Late Night with Conan O'Brien was all sold out.

On that day, my family had decided to wait in a stand by line for Conan tickets. Much to our dismay (at the time) none of the stand bys had a chance of getting in that day. But I had decided previously that if we couldn't get into Conan, I was going to wait for Iceman. Luckily Dad decided to join me in my quest. We waited for two hours, as the few people ahead of us slowly disappeared as people selling tickets they couldn't use came to peddle their wares. Eventually we were at the head of the line, and time was running short. The booth called us up. Two available tickets in the twelth row. Pops pulled out his credit card and bought the $200 tickets. But there was four of us in our family, and we waited some more. And at three minutes before seven (the time of the show) we got two more tickets in the FOURTH ROW, I jumped with exasperated joy (as you can imagine).

Of course I waited in agony for forty-five minutes before Spacey actually came on stage. But it wasn't that bad because the characters were immediately endearing and entertaining. After the first act was over I turned to my mom and said, "They make me want to jump right on stage and join the party; they're just having so much fun!" Though, I soon found out, this happy atmosphere didn't last.

When Spacey stepped on stage, the whole auditorium roared with applause. And I just couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe I had gotten tickets, and I couldn't believe I was in the same room with a man who I admired so much. It was the highlight of my week long trip to New York City I can tell you.

Spacey commanded such attention on stage. I'm sure the whole audience just couldn't take their eyes off him (at least you know I couldn't). It was such a joy to watch his every move, every expression, every tiny little gesture. After seeing Hurly Burly, I was very disappointed with Spacey. I felt like he was really starting to fall into a pattern. The character wasn't new; it was Buddy Ackerman with a twist. But Iceman restored my faith in his abilities. The character was new and fresh. It was portrayed in a way that I truly feel brings absolute justice to the character.

Rarely do I cry during plays, but I wept buckets during the fourth act. And Spacey completely deserved the standing ovation the audience gave him at the end. The play is a complicated mixture of human movtivation and struggle, and it's about finding an inner peace. It was so gut wrenching to realize at the end, that Hickey found his peace, and so did all the others, except the one character that thought he had his peace all along.

After the show, we scrambled to get out of the theater. My feet were tired from a whole day of walking and standing, and I just wanted to sleep. But the sidewalk leading away from the theater was cluttered with stagnant people. We weren't moving an inch, but it didn't take long to realize why. The stage door was blocked off with barricades leading to a Ford Explorer-type vehicle so that the actors could make a clean get away. Half of my family was already waiting on the other side to get a glimse of Spacey. We joined them, and I began to think of the possibilities. We weren't right in front, but se could still see what there was to be seen. When Robert Sean Leonard came out, he signed autographs and took pictures, but I was sure Spacey was too big a star to be bothered with fans, and that he would make it quickly to his getaway car. But I was still prepared, program and pen in hand, directing dear old dad to get as many pictures as he could.

I was so proud and surprised when Spacey came out and started signing autographs. I slowly pushed my way to the front, full of excitement, and held out my program. It was so surreal when he took it and signed it, and I heard my self saying strongly, "Thank you very much." And he replied with a repeated, "Thank you very much." And then he moved on.

I wish I could have said more, something that gave him a hint of how much I reverred him. I wanted to say that he was so talented, and that Usual Suspects was an ongoing theme in my life. That I respect him for his need for privacy, and that his performance that night was so incredibly memorable for me. But all I could say was "Thank you very much." And I think, in retrospect, that it was enough.

But it has all made me want to send him a fan letter, and try and put into words just how I feel about him. And I don't think that it's about the physical (like with David Duchovny I think he's the hottest man alive, and I'd faint if I ever met him, but that doesn't mean that I thoroughly respect his acting, and it doesn't mean he's ever been an inspiration). With Spacey it's like I wish I could know him, really know him. And god how I wish I could act with him. And I'd like to tell him that if theater's what he wants to do, then that's fine with me because he's made for it. He had such chemistry and such presence.

So that's what it took for me to love him again...

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