I don't understand you
(this is one of those inconceivable instances
when religion becomes
a bad thing
a murderous weapon
though there are times when I admit
willingly
that the 
countless and diverse religions of the world
stand for something just
produce favourable results
lives are saved
hurts are healed
babies are born
but are you the reason why 
I am an atheist...
you're just as bad as Hitler
or perhaps worse)
the President of our United States
addressed his country yesterday
interrupting 
our beloved daytime soap opera
(to update us on the one we live)
and he informed us
that we are on the brink of war
America will not tolerate
Terrorism
instead we'll sail out to sea
and detonate our weapons of 
destruction and hate
right in your own back yards
and when I hear our President
utter "chemical weapons"
I am forced to rush out
and get shots/vaccines for diseases that
"Do NOT exist"
and then buy a handy gas mask
at my local army navy surplus store
(where I had to wait in line for hours
I got the last one)
and the realization hit me
all the needle pokes in 
my arms and legs
the sealed windows and doors
the gas masks and oxygen tanks
will be futile against your
nuclear bombs
and mushroom clouds
and radiation fallouts
I can do nothing but
watch myself slowly transform
into some cancer filled lump tumor
infecting all in my radius
and my skin peels off in onion sheets
red and blistered
pus shooting from my eyes
and the last thing I want to do is
throw up my intestines
on the radio they said
what if Clinton staged the whole thing
(conspiracy theories I don't need to hear
or believe)
but this statutory rape situation
the stain-on-her-dress predicament
is consuming a conutry
obsessed with Jerry Springer 
and sex scandals
and soap operas
and maybe poor Clinton
needed to prove his
competence inspite of impending impeachment
and so he attempts
to show his strength and power
("We will not tolerate...")
we sent away our missles
under the pretext
that which does not kill us will make us
strong
but I wonder if
as they sat around that crowded table
conspiring redemption
and patting themselves on the back
did they take pause to consider me
and my fear of war and death
did they think
perhaps these terrorists will seek
vengence
maybe we're just 
provoking murderers and tempting fate
what about all the damage 
they've done
look how many lives 
they've destroyed
why don't we think twice
(about the 15 year old high school junior
cowering in a corner
awaiting a pre-empted death)
before we act 
but now all we can do is wait 
and kill ourselves with pondering over
what you might do next
I can't help scoffing at my own
government
laughing
we think we can stop them 
what naive fools we are
will it be tomorrow 
that I'll flip on my late 
afternoon television
to hear that 300 more lives
have been lost
(only 12 of them were American 
"Maybe that's why they hate us")
and our government has declared 
war
8.21.98